This holiday season has been a little tough on me...probably more than I let on. A few months ago we found out that my grandpa was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. No one was really talking about it so I didn't know how bad it really was. On Thanksgiving Dallas and I made the decision that we would not go to Colorado for Christmas. I let my mom and dad know that depending on how grandpa was doing if he got worse I would just fly up. That's when they finally told me that it was pretty bad and that they didn't know how long he had. So after talking things over with Dallas we decided that I would just fly up for a couple days to spend time with everyone and then come back in time for Christmas to spend it with Avrey. Well my trip came and went...it was a super quick trip, but I'm so glad I went. It was so nice to see my grandpa and grandma, all my aunts, uncles and cousins. My grandpa seemed to be doing ok and I did pretty good until I had to say goodbye. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing for me. Just the thought of not knowing if I'll see him again hit me really hard and I just fell apart. I gave my grandpa the biggest hug I could and thanked him for always treating me like his own and accepting me into their family...and all he said to me was that I always was part of their family and that he loved me. Words really can't express how hard this is on me. I came back from my trip with a new outlook on life. I came home and just hugged my family has hard as I could. I'm so blessed and I'm more than thankful to have both Dallas and Avrey (and soon to be Beckett) in my life. It's really easy to take things for granted, but when something like this happens it really made me think about what really mattered in life.
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